Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Stll learning....

This morning was one of those mornings. Hannah (six months old) was up and at it @ 6:30 a.m. and the Sadie (two months shy of 3 yrs old) woke-up about 6:45 a.m. Sadie was not herself this morning, but she taught me alot about myself. Sadie had a cough and a cold and is under the weather a little so it's to be expected somewhat. Here is what happened and why I'm still learning....

Sadie, Hannah and I were watching some cartoons in our bed enjoying the early morning, I got the girls dressed and ready then myself. As we were sitting there Sadie started to jump around and about dropped a knee on Hannah's head so I said, "No, more jumping please, you just about kneed sissy in the head." Sadie got upset but stopped jumping. She then while watching some blissful cartoon kept almost kicking Hannah, I once again ask her to stop, she once again got mad, and this time reached over and pinch/scratched/slashed my eye (impressive WWE move the eye rake). I told Sadie she hurt me, she didn't care. I asked a few times, "You hurt daddy, what do you say?" She deliberately ignored it and ran out of the room. A few more times throughout the morning I asked her, "what do we say when we hurt someone?" No answer, no care.

As the morning progressed in was time to do Sadie's hair, which is like trying to brush the mane of a lion, the lion doesn't like it, it's dangerous, and the lion will just mess it up in two seconds anyway. I come with brush and hair tie in hand and ask Sadie to come get her hair brushed and she takes off running from me, like the brush is a knife and I'm Micheal Myers (cue the Halloween theme music). As she runs she gets under the table and then bangs her little head really hard as she tries to go around the table. There is one nano second of complete silence after I hear the bump at before the crying and tears.

She now runs towards me and I scoop her up and hold her, telling her it will be okay and and kissing her boo boo away. Then I start to tear up...

Because I see myself in a two year old. I see myself hurting my heavenly Father, knowing I messed up, knowing I'm wrong, but refusing to say I'm sorry and not really caring. Then I replay my words again...You hurt daddy, what do you say?

I see myself running away from Him when He just wants the best for me. I wanted to brush Sadie's hair so she looked as beautiful as possible, not wanting to hurt but to help. I run I bang my head, I get hurt, I feel pain. Guess who I run back to, my Father.

I have learned more about God being a Father, then I ever have listening to sermons, going to Bible college, or any retreat, and I'm still learning.

One last thing...About 40 minutes after all of this morning mayhem, I asked Sadie one last time as I held her little hand and we walked into school. "Is there something you still need to tell daddy?" She responded, "Yeah, I'm sorry." I stopped and told her thank you and that all is forgiven and that I loved her...then teared up again.

Question to comment on or ponder...Is there something you need to tell your heavenly father, or are you still running from Him?

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